Posted by: expectingamiracle | May 25, 2009

Sometimes

Sometimes it’s the  middle of the night and he won’t go down and I am tired.  And frustrated.   And not all the time, but sometimes, I stop for a minute and I think. 

I think about how long we tried and how long I waited for him to get here.  I think about women who are infertile, who have miscarriages, whose precious babies are stillborn.  I think of their empty arms.

Sometimes it makes me cry. 

Sometimes it makes the night seem a little shorter. 

Sometimes I think about women whose babies are grown or mostly grown.  They write about how it went by so quickly.

I think about how he is already changing before my eyes.  And while I delight in the changes, it is also bittersweet.  Sometimes I think about him growing up and being too old to cuddle with mom anymore. 

So sometimes, the fact that he only wants to sleep against my chest isn’t so frustrating.

And sometimes, with his little body wrapped up in my arms, he is sound asleep.  I could put him down.  But I hold him a little longer.

Just because I can.

DSCF1481

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Responses

  1. What a sweet picture. He looks like he’s smiling. 🙂 It’s great that you’re taking the time to enjoy him. It really does go by fast. (Can’t believe my “baby” is turning 2 in July!)

  2. You’ll never regret it! 😉

  3. awwww


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