Posted by: expectingamiracle | January 26, 2009

Worry

I’m worried about my dad.  He was treated for brain cancer back in 1995.  Since then he’s had lots of problems with short term memory loss and really bad hearing loss.  But despite these things he’s been able to still live a decently normal life. 

But lately he’s been having false memories, he will be convinced that someone has told him something and it’s just completely not true.  Like he swore my brother told him that my SIL was pregnant and my brother never said that.  Also he’s been hearing things that are not there.  At first it was just when his hearing aid was out and my mom thought maybe it was a result of the progressive hearing loss and hearing phantom noises.  But now he is hearing voices that are telling him they are going to kill him and threatening him.   Or he’ll hear someone outside shooting the car.  Crazy things and very paranoid.  Just in the past week this has suddently gotten so bad.  My mom will tell him it’s not real and he’ll agree with her that there is no way it can be real.  But then 20 minutes later it is the same thing again.  He called 911 today to tell them that someone was threatening him.

He goes to the doctor tomorrow.  They did a CT scan of his brain last week and some bloodwork.  The dr told my mom on the phone it could be frontal lobe dementia caused by his brain radiation years ago.  I’m not sure because the symptoms don’t add up totally and I really hope it’s not that because it doesn’t sound like there is much they can do if it is.

I am so worried.  I just want them to be able to help him.  Right now my mom really can’t take care of him if he stays like this, she is having to watch him like a hawk.  And he has said repeatedly through the years that he would rather die than have to be in a nursing home or care facility. 

I am scared and frankly, pissed off.  Life can never be easy can it?  There always has to be some part of it that is shitty and awful.

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Responses

  1. oh boy…how stressful for you. praying for good news!

  2. It certainy seems that way. I had a professional tell me to try not to “catastrophize” things. Now – I think I do a pretty good job of “living in the here and now” but hell- life has dumped on us – alot, so I have a right to be concerned. So do you.


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