Posted by: expectingamiracle | September 25, 2008

Pregnancy Terror Alert

I had another freakout, and to make a long story short, last night I had rechecked my thyroid levels and my TSH looked pretty freakishly low to me (0.126) although my T4 and FT4 looked okay.  After phone calls to my OB, RE and acupuncturist, it appears that I just need to keep an eye on them and recheck them every month or so.  But that was not before google started warning me about an increased risk of miscarriage. 

Am I only the only one that thinks my pregnancy needs one of those color coded terror alert charts?  I was probably on level orange this morning.  (Red being used only, of course, for cases of bleeding.)  Now I’m probably back down to a yellow or blue.  Unfortunately, in pregnancy after a miscarriage, the green level is never attained. 

And really, you’d think I’d learn.  I thought after my good ultrasound, I’d get to enjoy smooth sailing the rest of pregnancy.  I deserve for it to be easy from here on out!  Which is of course, ridiculous.  One of these days I will learn that it never ends.  There is always some problem, some worry, something cropping up to raise your terror alert.  Obviously I just have to deal with it. 

Reason #465 that I love my mother:  She listens to all this crap and knows what to say.  We are on the same wavelength and she IS my best girlfriend.  Case in point, conversation from this morning:

Mom: “I’m going to tell you a mental trick that I used when your dad was in remission and I’d start to worry between his appointments about the cancer coming back.  I would mentally take a box and I’d put all my worries in it.  I’d close it up and place it on the highest shelf of the closet and once it was there, I only allowed myself to take it down and open it every once in awhile.”
Me (later, revisiting the subject):  “So I need a little box like you had.”
Mom: “Oh mine wasn’t little.  It had to be fairly big.”
Me:  “Can I make it pretty?  Does it have one of those ribbons around it?”
Mom:  “Yes, it does.”
Me:  “Is it round?”
Mom:  “Yes!  Like a hatbox.”

And when she calls tonight and I tell her about my pregnancy terror code alert, I know she will laugh.  I’m so grateful for her.  I truly lucked out on this mom business.  I just hope I can measure up and that one days my kids will think the same of me.

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Responses

  1. your mom sounds great! Just think of what a great grandma she will be!
    {{{{{huggles}}}}}


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