Posted by: expectingamiracle | September 20, 2008

I wish

This post is belated by a day, due to the computer virus from hell, which my wonderful husband has fixed for me.

Yesterday was one year since I lost him.  My first child.  Sometimes I picture my children in my mind, my future children.  I see them smiling, laughing, playing in the ocean, skipping ahead of me on a forest trail.  And he is always there too, taller than the others, venturing out a bit further.  I can picture his smile.  But he will never really be here, except in my mind and my heart.

I placed flowers at his memorial.  The nandina bush has really grown and covered up much of it, but I think I will leave it be.  His place is nestled in amongst the plants and I think he would like that. 

I am so grateful for the life inside me right now.  But at the same time, I look at my angel statue and my heart whispers out, “I love you.  I miss you.  I wish you had had a chance.”

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Responses

  1. {{{{huggles}}}} This must be such a hard time for you. The flowers are beautiful.

  2. One year is the worst. They all suck, really, but the first year is such a vivid reminder. Hugs to you as you got through it.


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