Posted by: expectingamiracle | August 24, 2008

First Freakout

I had a nightmare last night that I went to the bathroom and was bleeding.  I was losing the baby and watching my dreams come crashing down once again.  I woke up terrified because it felt so real.

So I did what any normal person would do.  I tested again.

Top test is 12 dpo, bottom test is 15 dpo.








This reassures me.  That looks like one nice dark line to me.

I wish I’d start feeling more naseous again.  I seem to have less than I did a few days ago.  But I’m also more tired.  I know it’s early and plus my mom had very little naseua with her pregnancies (none with my brothers and mild with me) so I know it isn’t BAD persay.  I’d just feel better if I could feel a little sick.

So the worry has totally hit but so far it’s manageable.  I have googled very little (yay me!) and tried not to spend much time thinking about what could happen.  I just have to keep it up for another 2 and a half weeks until my ultrasound.  Although I am living proof that seeing a heartbeat doesn’t mean you get a take home baby.  I’m sure I will be nervous to some degree the whole pregnancy.  And then for the rest of my life when I have the baby.  So I am trying to train myself to get away from this worry now.  Or at least as much as I can.

On a lighter note, it was noted today that my husband has a larger “baby belly” than I do.  Let’s see how long it takes me to catch up with him.



  1. Congratulations on your pregnancy – definietly more pregnant in my expert opinion.

    Even with twins I didn’t get nauseous till after 7 weeks and I had a mega load of Hcg.

    Once it hit I was wishing it away at the same time as relishing in the glory of being a bucket chucker.

    I know it is easy for me to say enjoy your pregnancy but try to . Don’t let the sadness of past losses rob of joy in the right now.
    I have been there , done that. I feel your excitement looking forward to the ultrasound and also the what if’s that run through your head. The default … we revert back to what we know….but miracles happen by boys are living proof of it.
    Sadly my pregnancy with my daughter didn’t go to plan but I am still glad it happened.

  2. ps oops I am here from ICLW …thanks for visiting me.
    I will be back to see how you go …otherwise remind me.

  3. OH Shannon. I wish I could offer you comfort but with my history it’s probably not a comfort.

    Just so you know with ALL of my girls I didn’t start getting sick until the 6th week. And with Freja I had hyperemesis.

    I know it doesn’t seem easy but give the worries to God and just relax. Enjoy the time you have right now. If it’s one thing Calypso taught me is that you can’t let fear cloud your life and you can’t let fear STEAL your joy. And that’s exactly what it does

  4. I hope you catch up to your husband soon enough. I think it’s normal to worry after what you’ve been through. However I hope your worry eases and you can enjoy this time too. I’m sending you wished for a happy and healthy 9 months.


  5. I HATE those type of dreams…mine lasted a couple weeks. I hope yours go away fast.

  6. Hang in there, its natural to feel that way if you’ve had an mc before.
    All the best.
    here from ICLW…

  7. Oh that line is most certainly a BFP now. Now, don’t get into a testing flurry. HCG can wax and wane from urine sample to urine sample and you will find yourself freaking out if the line is lighter one day. Now that you have that dark BFP, step away from the pregnancy tests.

    I didn’t get morning sickness hardcore until well into my 6th week or early in my 7th week with my healthy pregnancies. I had some vague nausea and avoided toothpaste early on….oh, and I could not tolerate the smell of coffee.

    Hugs!!!! and congrats again!

  8. Its so hard to get past that fear and actually believe you are going to have a baby. Good luck and prays that everything goes well.

  9. OMG I have had a dream like that TOO!!! But I wasn’t pregnant, but it was still scary. It isn’t fair that we will forever be damaged by m/c. Why can’t we just be carefree and naive?!?!? and WOW that line was WAY darker!! LOL Congrats!!!

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