Posted by: expectingamiracle | August 15, 2008

Pointy Stick

There hasn’t been much more cramping to speak of.  I mentioned it to my acupuncturist today and she said it could just be the corpus luteum doing something.  She also mentioned that I’m probably more aware of everything that is going on.  Which is true.  I’m hoping that if it is a cyst, that it will be small enough not to matter for next cycle.  And I’m not even going to let myself worry about the ectopic thing, since google has not turned up any horror stories.  And goodness knows that you can always find confirmation of any possible bad thing that could happen if you just google enough.

And speaking of my acupuncturist, she probably thinks I am a total flake now.  Last week I came at 11:00 instead of 10:30.  In my defense, I am not sure whose fault that was because I had it written on my calendar as 11:00 but who knows.  Then this morning my alarm didn’t go off, I must have switched  it off instead of on.  So I woke up 35 minutes before my appointment.  I normally allow 45 minutes to drive there.  Yeah.  I hauled some major butt and told them I might be late.  Luckily, I wasn’t.  I felt like telling them I wasn’t really like this.  Really.

In other news, my MIL called today and said SIL had phone minutes now if we wanted to call and wish her a happy birthday.  I don’t.  I already sent her a card.

She also said that they were getting together for SIL’s birthday.  My husband’s family always does this for everyone’s birthday; gets together for dinner or something.  She said it would be a “girls thing”, just MIL, SIL, GrandmaIL, AuntIL and me and it would be for breakfast or lunch.  You want me to go to lunch with my 9 months pregnant SIL who is having an oopsie baby and is totally unfit to be a parent?  Um..no thanks.  I’d rather take this pointy stick and jab it into my eyeball.

I’m thinking maybe the reason MIL is making it girls only is so that we can all talk to SIL about her decision.  And that she is inviting me because she thinks that SIL is more likely to listen to me (true from past experience).  But I already emailed SIL and gave her my advice.  I told her what I thought.  And SIL decided against what I think is right.  What else can I say? 

Is it selfish for me to opt out?  I think things are painful enough for me as it is.  I don’t really want to get involved anymore.  I  have enough to deal with, without have to go look at a big pregnant belly.  I’m leaning towards calling my MIL and telling her that I can’t emotionally handle going.  Pass the pointy stick.

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Responses

  1. You are doing exactly the right thing, which is supporting yourself, as you go through your own stuff. It is difficult for others to understand what its like for you, and don’t expect them to – they just don’t know. But you can protect yourself, by nurturing yourself, and staying away from those experiences that just hurt! I am all for self support – it is not ‘selfish’, it is called self-interest. Be true to yourself, and don’t feel guilty.

    lovingly
    Coach Louise Crooks

    http://lifebalanceinfertilitycoach.wordpress.com
    http://keystoclaritycoach.wordpress.com
    http://www.blogtalkradio.com/KeystoClarity-coach


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