Posted by: expectingamiracle | August 8, 2008

Doomed from the beginning

Shit.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14664408?dopt=Abstract

Slow rising hcgs predict poor pregnancy outcome despite seeing a heartbeat.

Let’s go back to almost a year ago, shall we?

-Slow rising betas?   CHECK
-Small gestational sac?  CHECK
-Hearbeat at 8 weeks but not 12  weeks?  CHECK

I was still told (despite the crappy betas and small sac) that my risk of miscarriage was only 5% because we had seen the heartbeat.  Obviously my OB hadn’t read this study.

My next question (to which I cannot find an answer) is WHY?  What do those 3 things indicate, if anything?  A genetic problem with baby?  Low progesterone?  Clotting disorder?  Immune problems?
I just want to KNOW.  They won’t do any testing on me because it’s only been 1 miscarriage.  But they don’t know how much I have invested in this next baby.  If it’s going to take a year or more to even GET pregnant, I want to be damn sure that there is nothing wrong with me.  It’s not like I can say “oh whoops, miscarried #2.  I guess I should get tested done so that I WAIT ANOTHER F-ING YEAR to get pregnant again and do something to prevent aborting #3.”

And now I’m torn again on whether I want beta hcgs when I get pregnant.  They won’t change anything.  But next time I’d know, if they weren’t doubling right, that even a heartbeat doesn’t mean anything

And yet.  I wouldn’t wish that I had seen this study before.  It was going to break my heart either way.  I had a few days where I thought everything would be okay.

I’m glad I didn’t know.

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