Posted by: expectingamiracle | July 23, 2008

Always let your conscience be your guide

Two things have happened recently where I’ve felt the need to follow my conscience.

1.  An instance at work where a pregnant co worker in her 3rd trimester was left by herself to do WAY too much work while the supervisor was out cavorting with another supervisor for an hour and a half.  Ugh.  It still makes me mad to think about.  Am I so totally jealous of the pregnant co worker?  Oh yes.  Does it upset me that she’s getting an oopsie honeymoon baby?  Again, yes.  But I looked at her, struggling to keep up with all the work, and it hit me, what if that were me?  What if I was all huge and pregnant and left by myself to do the work of two people?  So I went up and asked her if she needed anything and she said she’d really like to go eat lunch.  So I told her to go and I’d take care of everything.  But that’s not the part I had to think about.  I had to call to get the supervisor to come back and she finally did after being gone an hour and a half.  Lunch is supposed to be 30 minutes.  I was so angry at her, because everyone knows (although she is married with 4 kids) she has a thing going on with a co worker and I know she was with him while she was gone.  So she just left preggo co worker high and dry.  Bitch.  So even though it could come back and bite me in the ass for being a whistleblower, I went and told the lab coordinators what had happened.   Whatever happens from here, at least I feel like I did the right thing.

2.  I’m sending an email to pregnant SIL.  No one has heard from her in over a month and she’s due August 20.    And although I really do not want to, I’m sending an email telling her how I feel about her situation, in what I hope is a loving way.  I don’t want her to “ex communicate” me because she doesn’t like what I have to say.  And it probably will not change anything, but on the off chance that it does, I think I have to say it, for her baby’s sake.  And to know that I did what is right.  I know this is  controversial, because it is someone else’s business.  But she is a friend and she is family.  And it’s not just about her screwing up this time, it’s about her screwing up, this time with a child along for the ride.  For many reasons (which I could go into all the details, but won’t)  she is really, seriously not ready to be a mom.  It took a long time and a lot of separating my own feelings from the issue for me to be able to say that with confidence.  But unfortunately I do feel it is absolutely true.  With the way things are going, I think she will keep the baby and it feels akin to waiting and knowing you are going to watch a trainwreck happen. 

It all boils down to the fact that I have to do what I think is right, even when it’s not easy.  But why does it keep involving pregnant women?  I often wonder what it would be like if things were different with SIL.  If she were a stable person, ready to be a mom, if this were a planned baby.  Would that make it easier?  Or harder?

In other news, less than 1 week till Clomid time!  Despite the fact that I already ovulate, hopefully it will help.



  1. I think if SIL were a stable, deserving mom-to-be it’d be easier and harder at once.

    Doing the right thing is certainly not always the easy thing. Hugs.

  2. Hey Shannon, I know I haven’t been around much but I have been trying to keep up. I am excited you are starting the clomid soon and getting your HSG! Good luck! And I do think you did the right thing in both situations. It is hard sometimes to do the right thing but you are right if it were you, you would want someone to help you out. 😉

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