Posted by: expectingamiracle | July 4, 2008

Rubella, corticosteroids and acupuncture, oh my!

-I got a call from my RE’s nurse telling me that I did NOT have immunity to Rubella.  And that I’d need to go get a vaccine and then avoid getting pregnant this month.  Avoid?  Do I even know how to do that anymore?!  This led to much googling of the risks and benefits of getting the vaccine.  But the long and short of it is, I got jabbed with a needle on Tuesday.

-I went to the dermatologist and he gave me a steroid cream to use and said to come back in two weeks if it’s not better.  He would do a biopsy at that point if the rash is still there.  He thought it was probably contact dermatitis/eczema.  Two days on the cream and I think the rash is a bit better, although all the skin there is pink.  I called and they said that’s okay as long as it’s not red or itchy.  So I’m calmed down a bit, but I’m still a little nervous.  Anxiety seems to be a constant companion these days.

-I went for acupuncture again on Wednesday.  I went to work directly afterwards and I was zoned out.  All that anxiety was gooooone.  And it was niiiice.  Unfortunately I was also pretty sleepy.  Also unfortunately a little of that anxiety has come back, although not to the levels that it was at, so that’s a good thing.  Also, after my first session of acupuncture, I got my period two weeks later.  And noted that whereas I normally have cramps on CD 1 that make me whine/complain and want to take advil, this month I had barely any cramps at all.  Yay!

I’m trying to figure out what to do with myself now that we can’t try this month.  I don’t smoke, drink alcohol, drink caffeinated beverages, skydive, smoke crack, or participate in any otherwise risky behavior, even when I’m not TTC.  The best I can come with is that I am allowed to eat lots of junk food this cycle.   I’ll probably also pick up some extra shifts at work.  Gotta fund my acupuncture habit. 

But in all seriousness, I do hope to get a handle on how I’m feeling emotionally during this time.  Because there were a few days here recently where I felt like if I had one more thing added to my plate, I was just going to snap.  That I just couldn’t take anymore.  Panicky feelings, possible panic attacks?  I don’t know.  But it sure as hell wasn’t pleasant.

And part of me is thinking, okay, well you need to figure out how to get ahold of yourself and deal with stress, because it’s not going to go away.  What happens when you have a child and they get sick?  Are you going to totally fall apart?  Maybe that’s being too hard on myself, I dunno.  Or underestimating how much all of this is affecting me.  It just bugs me that I have not found a way to make myself calm down and de-stress when my anxiety starts going into overdrive.

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Responses

  1. Hun I hate to tell you this. Being a mother is NOT stress free. You WILL fall apart, it’s just a part of it *hugs*

    Sounds like you have too much on your plate! I’m so sorry sweetie!


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