Posted by: expectingamiracle | June 8, 2008


June 5th was 4 years since we got married.  One year since we closed on our house.  And June makes one year since we’ve been trying to have a baby. 

On Friday,  we went to a waterpark for the day.  We’ve actually been doing this for several years and it’s become something of a tradition.  I thought for sure that we wouldn’t go this year.  And in fact, there were times throughout the day where I was sad because I would give anything to NOT be there.  I’d rather have said, “oh we just stayed at home with the baby for our anniversary”.  Or failing that, “we just had a nice dinner for our anniversary, can’t do much else because I’m pregnant”.  But no.  We had a great time, it just doesn’t escape me that here I was, still doing the same thing.  I wanted this year to be different.

We spent a large part of our time body boarding.  They have a device that basically shoots out thousands of gallons of water at you on a foam surface to simulate a wave.  I played on it for a long time last year (albeit at a different waterpark location) and got pretty decent at it.  We started doing it this year and I sucked.  And I couldn’t help but see how I could compare it to my life these days.

Last year, body boarding came fairly easily.  Last year, I got pregnant in no time.

This year, I kept getting on and wiping out immediately.  I kept waiting, trying again and failing.  Waiting, trying again and failing.  What does that sound like?  Oh yeah, it sounds like every single month.  I wait, we try again and I find out, again and again and again that I’m not pregnant.

I jump in

and I fail

I try again

and I fail

And Deer was awesome.  Up on his knees, drop knee, smooth.  It seemed to come so easily.  I’d ask him what I was doing wrong, trying to find some answer but he couldn’t tell me.  I was doing everything the same way I did it last year but it wasn’t working.  Now what does that sound like?  Umm…maybe the fact that everyone around me gets pregnant with no effort at all and I’m jealous.  Maybe that I can’t figure out why the heck it was so simple last time and I just don’t know why it’s not happening again.

I kept trying. 

And finally I got it.


Video footage, I did well this time until I decided to go back on my stomach.  I hesitated, the board started to turn, I over corrected and down I went!

I can only hope that the same thing will happen when it comes to baby making.  That if I just keep trying, if I keep picking myself up every time I fall down, that eventually it will somehow fall into place and happen.

The two of us.  I am a pasty white girl but my husband looks so totally yummy in this pic.  Mmm.

After we finished up at the waterpark, we hit the beach in time for sunset.  5 years ago, at this beach, he asked me to be his wife.  God, I was so deliriously happy.  (LOL, as I type this I hear my darling belching in the other room). 

He completes me and it’s hard to even remember what it was like to not be married to him.  But I do, if I stop to think about it, I remember how my heart ached to belong to him forever.  I’m so thankful that I do now. 

My hair looks crazy in this pic because of the wind.

So about that trying to have a baby stuff?

Is there really even an option?

For now, I’ve just got to keep jumping in…


  1. Oh wow, does that totally look life a blast, o what. Can you use a suf board there? I think I might just recognize that pier in the photo of you at the beach. I believe I have surfed there a few times in my life. G-town!

    Happy Annivesary!!! You are so beautiful together…..and yes, he is a doll!! Having one myself, I know how it feels to be married to your soul mate.

    Beautiful post.

  2. Wow, that looks like fun…. as well as some form of unique torture, judging from the wipeouts!

    Your hubby is cute, indeed! I’m another pasty white girl, so I feel your pain there. 😉

    I hope you’re right about the jumping in thing…. that maybe we’ll figure this out one day.

  3. Happy Belated Anniversary! The pics are AMAZING and I love the ‘Just keep jumping in’

    Sweetheart, that’s all we can do sometimes in this life just keep jumping in

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: