Posted by: expectingamiracle | May 30, 2008

It’s like he read my mind

As churches in America, we double talk.  We talk about abortion and say the fetus or even the embryo is a real life.  I agree.
I disagree then with what we do with a miscarriage.  We hardly ever think of the mother and father having grief.  As you know, you do grieve.  It is real grief if you have established any bonding with that child.  Real grief.  Usually real grief needs some kind of attention, but we hardly mention it in our churches.
If you need or want to mention it, you can with me.”

I am not sure yet where this will lead.  Even reading his emails (in which he also mentioned that I could have a memorial service for the baby if I wished) makes me dissolve into a puddle of tears.  Maybe it’s pride, but part of me resists dissolving into tears in front of others.
But I think it’s safe to say I want to visit his church.



  1. Definitely. He sounds like someone you should definitely get to know. If his congregation is even half as awesome, you should join up now.

    I hope you take him up on some sort of memorial service, even if its just you, deer and him. It may help. I wish I would have thought to ask for one here. I don’t know that it would have been accomplished, but I should have asked.


  2. my church never mentioned either. I am at a new church now and at least they mention and pray against abortion. Too late for me but hopefully it will reach others. Your blog is wonderful, encouraging, uplifting. I let my baby go by an uninformed choice. I thought it best. Now I know differently. I grieve and people think I should be over it, especially since I chose this. All I still want is my baby back. I knew he was a baby. I knew it was wrong but the father of my child told me he would not be there. I thought how could I do that to my baby, pick this man as his father and look into his little face and explain why his daddy chose to abandon him. I felt empty and hollow afterwards, still do. I am overwhelmed by grief and guilt. My loss is real, I am forever changed.

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