Posted by: expectingamiracle | October 20, 2007

One month

So I should write again, I guess.  It’s been a month.  And it’s easier in some ways and somehow even harder in other ways.  Mostly I suppose because I get the feeling that some people in my life expect me to be “over it” by now.  Well, I never will be.  I could go on to have a dozen children and I still would not have my first.  
I will never be the same person.  And I have mostly accepted that.  No matter what, I would not take it back and wish I had never gotten pregnant.  As painful as it is that I lost my baby, for a short while, I had a tiny little baby in me.  The love that I had for that baby, the pure joy…I wouldn’t have missed that for the world. 
So I have a little baby in heaven now.  And I will see him again someday. 

We’re going to start trying again now.   I’ve got a willing husband.  I’ve got a basal body temp thermometer.  I’ve got OPKs.  I’ve got progesterone.  
And I’ve got a heart that’s missing my first child, but still ready to love another.


  1. Much luck to you both!! Sending positive energy your way.

  2. No, you will never be the same, and no one should expect you to be. I’ll be praying for success with your trying to get pregnant.

    It will be hard to deal with when you DO get pregnant again too, I speak from personal experience. But you will get through it…together. Lean on your other half. This can bring you sooo much closer as a couple.

    God bless both of you!

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