Matthew’s 4 month visit was last Tuesday.  He weighed 15 lb, 10 oz , which is the 60-75% and was 25 and 3/4 inches long, which is the 75%.  After he got weighed he promptly peed all over the scale.  Nice.  I felt bad for the nurse who had to clean it up but later she said she had a 10 month old boy so I figure she is used to little boys spraying at least.  When I related the story to David his first question was “So did he weigh less after he peed?”  Dude, I don’t know!  I was too busy carrying my naked urine covered child back to the examining room! 

So the other news is that we will probably wait until around 6 months to stop the Prevacid.  Sounds like a plan to me since he still spits up a lot so stopping it now would probably be a bad idea.  He has eczema for sure and I am kind of ticked because I thought breastfeeding was supposed to keep him from getting that?!  Also irritated that he totally inherited it from me.  Sigh.  Stupid sensitive skin genes.

My pedi wants ECI (early childhood intervention) to come out and make sure Matthew is okay as far as his development since he is not rolling, and wasn’t doing too great of a job in front of her as far as lifting his head on his tummy and supporting any weight on his feet.  I know he CAN do those things to some extent, but he was sleepy during the doctor visit because he was due for a nap (which I told her and she acted like she understood).  Anyway, she wasn’t super concerned but said she’d rather have him evaluated now while this is minor just in case it’s something where he falls too far behind.  So…I dunno one part of me thinks it’s overkill, the other part says it’s not going to hurt just to get him evaluated.  I guess some parents flip out if they are told their child is less than anything perfect and wonderfully advanced.  But you know, it’s not a big deal.  It has no bearing on intelligence whether he rolls at 3 months or 5 months. 

He is however, extremely vocal.  I’ve had numerous people comment on that.  I find it highly amusing to think that perhaps my husband and I have somehow produced a little extrovert?  You just never know. 

I marvel over him at any little thing he does.  If he wakes up when I put him down and drifts back to sleep on my own, I exclaim to my husband, “He’s such a GOOD BABY!  He just went back to sleep BY HIMSELF.  He’s SO GOOD.”  (Nevermind what I say when he is refusing to stay asleep when I put him down…)  Or yesterday I was blowing raspberries at him in the car and I could see him moving his lips and trying to sputter them.  “He’s SO SMART.  He is trying to imitate me!  He’s SO SMART!” 

Yep, I am one of those moms.  But in my defense, I usually only subject my husband and Matthew’s grandparents to these proclamations.  And of coure, they agree with me that he is stunningly brilliant.

I think not.

Dear Matthew,

You are 3 and a half months old now.  You have dark blue eyes and light fuzzy hair that I think will be dirty blonde like mine.  You have a thick patch of brown hair on the bottom back of your head that reminds me of a little old man.  You have little pudgy baby arms and legs and a dimple I could fall into when you smile. 

The surest way to get to you to smile is to smile and talk to you.  You break out into a gummy grin and melt my heart.  You laugh now, but there is not much telling what is going to tickle your funny bone.  Usually it is me saying something to you, but you don’t usually laugh for the same thing twice.  You make me step it up a notch and try to find a different silly thing to do and make a fool of myself.  Which I happily do, if I can hear that laugh. 

You are very vocal, you love to talk.  Lately when you are in the car you say “ooo, ooo, ooo!”  over and over.  You squeal on your changing table.  You imitate us saying “hi” or “hello” and you blow raspberries.  The photographer who did your 3 month old pictures commented that you were very talkative for your age.  All I can think is won’t it be a trip if your dad and I have somehow produced an extrovert?  Your Nana thinks your talkativeness is a sign of intelligence.  Who am I to disagree?

For about a week you were waking up at 7:15 a.m. and you would lay in your bassinet and just talk to yourself for about 5 to 10 minutes and then fall asleep again for another hour.  That was when you were sleeping 8 or 9 hour stretches, which by the way, was great, and you should totally start doing that again.  For some reason, whenever I say anything online about how you are sleeping through the night, you regress and stop doing it.  Obviously I need to learn to keep my big mouth shut.

The time is passing by way too quickly.  I wish I had written more about your newborn days, but honestly, I was just trying to survive.  They were sweet, sweet days though, when you were so tiny.  You can ask me sometime and hopefully I will still remember, how we sang “Happy Birthday” to you in the hospital the day you were born, how you screamed when I dressed you in your coming home outfit, about the first poopy diaper that I changed (okay, maybe you don’t want to hear about that), the sleeping against our chests, seeing how much your dad fell in love with you, the reflux problems (note: I will probably block this from my memory if I can).

Sometimes I look in the rearview mirror in the car and see you asleep in your carseat, or I look down at you as you’ve fallen asleep in my arms while nursing and I can hardly believe it.  That you are real and you are mine.    I am exceptionally lucky.  I rock you and put you down in your bassinet and kiss your head and I know that I am living my dream. 

I love you little bitsy bear.

Mom

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo

The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren’t his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
For children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

- Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

In honor of breastfeeding awareness month, a list of things I do and don’t like about breastfeeding.  I thought about just listing what was good about it, but I want to “keep it real”.

Things I don’t ( or did not) like about breastfeeding:

-that phase where he would open his mouth wide for a split second and by the time I got my nipple in, he’d already clamped down and started sucking.  this meant a bad latch and starting over again.  Repeat, repeat, repeat.
-boobs feeling like they are going to explode when they are engorged and then of course if you give up on sleep to go pump, chances are the baby will wake 10 minutes later
-being the only one who can feed the baby when you are ridiculously tired
-sore nipples
-that phase where he kept throwing his hands up to his mouth and wouldn’t move them.  I felt like I needed about 4 hands, 2 to hold down his 2 hands, one to hold my boob and one to guide his head
-worrying about whether he will take a bottle if I leave and go somewhere without him
-worrying about how he’ll go to sleep when I am away because nursing him is the only way to make him fall asleep
-not having any way to know how many ounces he was getting
-did I mention being tired and just wanting someone else to feed the baby?

Things I like about breastfeeding

-that newborn phase where he would make these tiny mouse squeeky sounds just before he nursed
-the phase where he would shake his head back and forth going “ah ah ah” before he got the boob, he looked like a little toothless piranha!
-knowing that “breast is best” and he’s getting all the right nutrients, antibodies and all that good stuff
-how supportive my husband is and how we can laugh together as he asks our son if he “wants some booby”  (yes we need to change our terminology before Matthew gets older and starts repeating things!)
-the way his hand grabs onto my bra or rests on my breast
-the way he pulls back from my nipple and grins up at me
-the times he has started grinning and licking my nipple – hilarious!
-the contented little sigh he gives
-how he can be screaming and so upset and nursing will calm him down
-the way he falls asleep at my breast while I hold him
-the  fact that only I can feed him.  Note that this was also one of the things I didn’t like.  And yet I love it as well. 

It’s funny but I was telling my mom that I will be kind of sad when he starts solids.  When I was pregnant with him, my body was sustaining him and giving him  life.  And with breastfeeding, I still am.  I am still giving him everything that he needs and it is a wonderful feeling.  Solids, and later, weaning, will be a step towards indepedence from me.  And I am grateful we aren’t there yet. 

For anyone out there on the fence about breastfeeding, give it a try.  It is VERY hard at first (or at least it was for me) but it gets easier.  It gets more rewarding and feels more and more like a special bond you have with your child (and less like you feeling like a milk cow.  ;o)

Breastfeeding.  I never really thought I would feel this way about it.  I did it because I knew it was best for the baby.  I never realized that there would be something in it for me.  But there is.  And it is beautiful.

I think he may have finally kicked the virus.  Temp has been normal the past couple days other than a couple of 99.2 temps, which I think is still within the “normal” range.  At least I don’t think 99.2 is a low grade fever?  Hope not.

He’s had 8 or 8.5 hour sleep stretches the past 3 nights which has been wonderful.  And he’s been taking a 3 hour nap in the morning.  Then usually a couple shorter naps during the day, one of which is usually hard won or doesn’t happen when it needs to due to a fussy baby not wanting to go down when he’s tired.  Overall though, I’d say his sleep is waaay better than it used to be.  Even before these 8 hr stretches, I was getting some 6 hour ones, which is still not too shabby.  Maybe at some point we can work on getting him to go to bed earlier.

That pesky fever won’t go away.  It comes down and just when I think we are done with it, I check again and it’s up.  It was up to 100.0 earlier this evening.

The pedi thinks it’s a tummy virus and said it may last 7-10 days, and to just keep watching to make sure his fever doesn’t get too high.  She also said the reflux could be temporarily worsening due to the virus.  So hopefully we are not back to square one on that.  He’s also had some gas recently.  Poor baby.  I can tell he doesn’t feel quite right.  He is having trouble with sleeping and he doesn’t want to be laid down while he is awake.  He’s either got to be held or up in his bouncer.  We tried the Bumbo today and he doesn’t quite have enough head control for it.  I think he will enjoy sitting up in it once he does.

I am kicking myself for going out everywhere with him last week and not using hand sanitizer.  But I guess his little immune system is going to get hit sooner or later.  Hopefully by the time the weekend is over, he’ll be back to normal. 

AND…he got weighed at the doctor’s (with clothes and cloth diaper on) and he was 14 lb, 7 oz.  Chunky boy!

Oh and more additional tidbits because I will likely refer back to this post someday and try to remember…  His poop still has mucus but no blood in it this time, so that was good.  She looked at the rash he’s had recently and it was declared to be eczema.  Well that sucks.  I was hoping he wouldn’t inherit that from me.

It’s been a busy last few days.  My mom and grandma came for a visit.  Saturday was the first time I’ve been out alone with my husband since Matthew was born (we went to Olive Garden).  Hooray for babysitting grandmothers and a baby who decided he will accept a bottle again. 

Sunday Matthew got cranky and I felt something was off, checked his temp and it was 99.9.  It went up and down throughout the day, never going up to 100 though. 

Monday morning he was totally back to normal and his temperature was fine, so I went with my mom to go do his 3 month baby pictures at J.C. Penney.  It went okay, he just didn’t want to smile like he does at home, he preferred to just chill out and stare at us or “talk” to us.  Still, we got some pretty good pictures and now I am kicking myself for not ordering more at the lower price, since re-orders cost more.

Last night was great, he beat his personal record and slept 9 hours and 20 minutes!  Wow!  Woke up, got his Prevacid, played with his Nana, ate, pooped, went back to sleep and slept almost 3 hours.  Then I had an old co-worker come by and Matthew really turned on the charm.  He went down for another nap but then woke up and started getting really fussy and screaming.  Took his temp…99.5.  Crap.  His doctor says it’s fine to just watch and keep taking his temp to make sure it doesn’t go higher, but it bugs me that his fever went away and now it’s back.  So he’s got an appointment tomorrow at 9:00. 

People really weren’t kidding when they said the worry only starts when you are pregnant.  It’s amazing how  a little fever starts making me fear the worst.  Logically, I know he’s probably fine and will be back to normal soon.  It just can’t come soon enough, I hate when I can’t make it all better for him.

From last weekend….don’t mind the end where he decides I am not all that amusing anymore.  ;o)

Here we go…fast asleep, sucking his fingers, shortly before I woke him up from an afternoon nap that was stretching out a bit too long.  (Save some of that sleeping for night time Matthew!)